Last June, my friend told me about her plans for our upcoming prom. "I'm renting a stretch limo and spending $1,000 on a new dress, and I've reserved a table at the most expensive restaurant in town," she said. Our teacher overheard her and shook her head. "I didn't spend that much on my wedding." My friend answered, "I can have three or four weddings. But a prom you do only once."

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Chocolate chips are fattening, about 50 calories a tablespoon. However, chocolate chips eaten while making chocolate chip cookies have no calories whatsoever. Therefore make chocolate chip cookies often but don't eat them.

For 15 minutes a small crowd watched my surf-fishing husband struggle to haul in something big. The drama ended when his catch turned out to be a waterlogged 4 x 4.

As Ed worked the hook out of the chunk of lumber, a man in the crowd called out, "What did you use for bait, your Home Depot card?"

Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.